Under the roses
-----------------------

Knock Knock says my yesterday
To get out persistently waiting
How did it unearth again?
Its company makes me grim

So many days and nights I spent
So many tearful cries
Why am I still in gloom?
Seeing heavily clouded skies

Could I escape this one more time?
Remains the painful prayer
Could I get back my hopefulness?
In Life that's so unfair

I feel the joy just drain away
I feel the pain sink in
Is there a soul to help this one?
Is finding help a sin?

So I write to you my friend
In measures quite frantic
Might that help you understand
How for me this is hectic

Like a poignant poem with rhyming words
I take things in my stride
Yet I remain a cemetery
With pains buried inside

Where do I go from here then?
I have a lot of doubt
How shared grief gets divided
I am waiting to find out

I have a thin-skinned heart
That I always have to shield
But how do I get closer to a friend
How, hope, do I build

Without the desire to see tomorrow
Hope is hard to find
Faith is hiding behind the corners
Love… never mind!

Friends make my life survive
A hug or a shoulder to lean on
How close can I get and be
Fear of losing everything is what I am running from

Securities I have only in my closest friends
Count them, yes I do
The number barely reaches 3
And I cannot afford to lose

The nightmare strikes like a loud midnight gong
And I begin to see
Nothing left to live for
If those 3 ever flee

The love I need do I receive
Is there anyone out there?
How green grass gives way to a shovel
Each time new graves appear

This morning when I woke up
My eyes were facing inside
Such darkness such terrible things
Selfishness too I hide

Lost between the two sides
Am I loved? Do I deserve it anyway?
I count again and this time
Not 1 of 3, seems anymore will stay

Capital is the punishment
For my emotions I decide
Press another Restart button
And then forever hide

And then the cycle continues
New friends will I make
But sure as hell I know right now
The destination of my fate

Hard it might be, but I will make
The soil on the grave grow roses
Just like you'll always or mostly see my face
With smiles till my book closes